NickLa (silverabsinthe) wrote,

I really don't know what to think sometimes. I'm all jazzed up on antidepressants and really can't decidewhat on earth I should be doing. I hate the fact that in order to be 'normal' or 'regular' that its suggested I need drugs. It pains me.

I did end up cleaning my myspace friends. Got rid of 30. And as I go through my facebook I realize that of all of these 'friends' I really dont know how many are really 'friends'.

Damn, I'm a ray of sunshine.

As I sit at work and go through my school/design portfolios to apply to schools... I realize that so much of my life is really fleeting moments. All I really want is to be happy. I Love my apartment. And I love my family. But some of my friends, and other aspects of my life confuse and hurt me beyond so much.

When my lease is up in August, I am SO out of here. I don't know where. Hawaii? England? Virginia? Florida? California?

Not here. And the idea gets me REALLY jazzed.

You can call it 'running away from my problems' or whatever the fuck you want. But it needs to be done. The idea of re-establishing myself with new surroundings and new people gives me hope. Maybe for the wrong reasons. But it's good to have hope in a place where there is none.
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